


3 times connor can't sleep, +1 time he realizes why he can

by neabee



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, Jared Kleinman & Connor Murphy Friendship, M/M, Napping, Swearing, i made jared and connor friends because i'm WEAK, i mean connor is here so there's gonna be swearing, jared may not be the wingman we want but he's the wingman we deserve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-04 23:16:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18822772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neabee/pseuds/neabee
Summary: connor struggles with insomnia. connor and evan struggle with their crushes on each other. jared struggles with not telling either of them they have crushes on each other.[alternate title: the entire list of tea ramona reads off in scott pilgrim vs. the world]





	1. Dreamsong

**Author's Note:**

> (evan and connor's thoughts are in italics, just a heads up)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> connor goes to evan for help with his insomnia at jared's suggestion. evan makes connor tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title-dreamsong by nate heller & amber coffman

It’s only Tuesday and Connor’s exhausted, he knows it’s obvious too. The dark circles under his eyes seem impossibly darker, making it look almost like he has two black eyes, and his already terrible posture has also worsened. His occasional insomnia for some unknown reason decided to grace him with its presence over the weekend. He would love to sleep for more than the 40 minutes in class he’s been getting the last few days, but his damn brain and body refuse to let him sleep for any healthy amount of time right now. He’s pretty sure if it was physically possible at this point his bloodstream would be entirely coffee because that’s all that’s keeping him awake. Once in a while he’ll have phases like this, an unfortunate bout of insomnia that lasts a few days. One of the fun side effects of often shitty mental health, he guesses. He just wants sleep.

“You look like shit, man,” Jared lets Connor know, as if he didn’t already, one spring afternoon at the hell he’s legally required to go to for six and a half hours a day to ‘learn’ about stuff he could give less of a fuck about if you asked him and also probably a lot of the other students at this school.

“Yeah, no shit, dude,” Connor responds in a tired tone he hopes will emphasize just how exhausted he feels.

Apparently it does because Jared actually grimaces at him in what Connor is assuming is sympathy. His mother always looks at him with it when he goes through this whenever it happens. Jared’s mouth is still moving, rambling on about something, but Connor’s stopped listening.

“Ok. You’re not listening to anything I say. More than usual, even for you. What’s up with you?” Jared asks.

“Nothing, just can’t sleep,” Connor says leaning against a locker tiredly.

Jared furrows his eyebrows in thought at this. “Oh! You know, you should ask Evan for help! He actually used to have a lot of trouble sleeping as a kid,” he says.

Connor nods at Jared’s suggestion. At this point he’ll try anything if it means he can sleep for an actual decent amount of time. Even if it means having to ask Evan, who he absolutely does not have a crush on to help him.

Connor asks Evan at the end of the day if he’d be willing to help Connor with his insomnia. Well, really Connor just mentions he’s been having trouble sleeping the last couple days because of his stupid insomnia and Evan, being the sweet boy he is, immediately insists on helping Connor out.

~  
They’re standing in Evan’s kitchen because Connor’s insomnia is still being a bitch a couple days later and decides to ruin his life whenever it feels like it, so Evan suggested Connor come over to his house after school so they can try some techniques out and see what works.

“Alright, so something I sometimes to do to try and fall asleep is drink tea.”

“Tea?” Connor looks at Evan disbelievingly.

“Tea,” Evan nods. “Do you have a preference on what kind?”

_Did Evan just ask me what my favorite kind of tea is? Why the fuck is that so cute?_

“Do you have earl grey?” Connor asks, doing his best to just go with what’s happening right now. His sleep deprived mind isn’t as good at providing him logical excuses as to why Evan would never in a million years return his feelings and why he should run right out of Evan’s house and not let his crush try to help him sleep just because he has insomnia and Evan’s too wonderful for his own good.

“Yeah, we do! I take you for someone who has a favorite tea if I’m honest. I like that about you,” he pauses realizing what he just said. “That’s so weird! I’m sorry!” Evan says and turns to reach for the tea from in the cabinet and definitely not to hide the pink on his cheeks at saying something so nonchalantly to Connor of all people. Something that could be misconstrued as vaguely flirty. Which on one hand Evan would love to do, not that he knows how to flirt, but on the other hand why would Connor want Evan flirting with him anyway?

_What the fuck was that? Honestly! Who asks someone their favorite kind of tea let alone tells them they seem like someone who has a favorite kind of tea. Connor probably thinks I’m so weird now if he didn’t already._

Evan doesn’t know how it slipped out, and he would love to just keep his head buried in the cabinet where they keep mugs and tea forever if it meant not having to look at Connor’s reaction to what he said, because Evan knows there’s no alternate universe in which Connor has a good reaction to his weird attempt at flirting.

“Why is it weird that I have a favorite tea, Evan? And it changes, just so you know, it’s just currently earl grey,” Connor says.

“Well, I just mean assuming someone has a favorite kind of tea just in general is kind of weird, but it might make sense that you do. It fits the whole brooding artist aesthetic you’ve got going on.”

Connor raises an eyebrow at that. Evan regrets everything.

_Who the fuck says that? Evan, you idiot! You made it worse. He definitely hates you now. Nice job._

Evan’s blush deepens further, but his head is out of the cabinet so it’s a start he thinks.

If he’s honest he would love nothing more than to stick his head back in the cabinet and just wait until Connor realizes what a weirdo he is and leaves, but Evan’s anxiety about politeness overrules his desire to hide, even from Connor, who has told him multiple times since they’ve been friends he doesn’t have to act like Connor’s a PTA mom Evan’s trying to talk to like a normal human being.

“I- just… never mind. I’ll just make the tea.” Evan says awkwardly.

Connor breaks the slightly awkward but still comfortable silence a few minutes later while they’re waiting for the cups of tea to steep.

“So, what’s your favorite kind of tea?” Connor asks as small talk.

_Jesus. Really? This is the kind of shit I ask my crush. To be fair he started it but still!_

“Chamomile,” Evan says, interrupting Connor’s internal monologue.

Connor snorts at this. “Of course, it is.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know it’s supposed to be one of the most calming kind of tea you can drink,” Evan defends.

“Whatever you say, but I’ll make a tea connoisseur out of you yet. Get you into fancy kinds of tea.”

“Ok, Mr. Connoisseur, your tea is ready,” Evan says in a teasing, haughty tone pushing the mug towards him and takes his own mug of chamomile tea.

The logo on the cup has faded a bit but Connor can make out it’s from a summer camp, Camp Towanda is what it looks like, the camp Jared goes to. Evan’s mentioned it to Connor before, not that he was listening with rapt attention or does that any time Evan opens his mouth, even when it’s about Jared and the people he supposedly does at the stupid camp because Connor doesn’t try to listen to anything Evan says. Connor would deny he does that until he was blue in the face.

“You could make a pun out of that. Connoisseur!” Connor says a few seconds later, one of the corners of his mouth turned up in a smirk.

Evan giggles in the cutest way imaginable. Connor considers it a win he doesn’t melt on the spot. “Oh, you are awful! C’mon, let’s go watch tv while you drink your tea,” Evan says still chuckling.

Connor manages to nap for at least a few hours after he and Evan moved to his room not long after they drank their tea with Evan saying it would hopefully make Connor sleepy soon.

They end up sharing the bed because Evan also falls asleep on accident. Afterwards, saying it only furthers his argument that chamomile is one of the most calming teas, but Connor’s trying not to focus on the fact that they accidentally napped together in Evan’s bed and woke up closer than they were when awake, because the more he thinks about it the more he builds up hope, and he can’t allow himself to do that.

Evan’s just helping him with his insomnia.

Connor would be lying though if he said it wasn’t a good nap and some of the best sleep he’s gotten in days.

 

Since that day Connor’s contact name in Evan’s phone is CONnoisseur with a mug emoji next to it, but Evan doesn’t want to tell anyone that. Especially not Connor. He thinks he’d create a new shade of red with how much he’d blush if Connor ever found out he was that sappy and lame.


	2. Cold Sheets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> evan and connor try stretching to get connor to fall asleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title-cold sheets by scarves

They’re at Connor’s house this time around because what Evan has planned is apparently going to take up more room than Evan’s house will allow, and Connor is not even going to let his mind go whatever messed up place it wants to go with that idea. Evan thankfully interrupts Connor’s thoughts before they can get worse.

 

“Alright, another thing I’ll do sometimes before I go to bed is stretch. Just makes my body feel warm and relaxed I guess.”

 

“You want me to do yoga?” Connor asks dryly.

 

“Not necessarily! Just basic stretches for your legs and arms mostly. Stretching helps relax your body so it’s typically easier to fall asleep,” Evan explains.

 

“Fine. I’m only doing this because I haven’t slept for more than 5 hours combined over the last 3 days, and I’m _this_ close to punching someone.”

 

“Okay then… Let’s start with just trying to touch your toes,” Evan says while bending over to reach for his feet.

 

And nope, nope, nope. Connor has to stand next to Evan or he will not make it if he looks at Evan doing basic stretches.

 

_Honestly I feel like someone needs to spray me with water if i’m depraved enough to fucking find Evan touching his toes arousing._

 

Whatever, sue him; Connor’s an inexperienced, horny teenager and Evan’s dumb khakis fit him nicely.

 

Connor would begrudgingly admit the stretching does the trick though. He’s able to sleep for about 3 hours in his bed. Evan ends up following Connor to his room because Evan will not be left by himself in Connor’s house for either of Connor’s parents or Zoe to walk in and try and talk to him.

 

“You can just sit on the bed next to me if you want,” Connor says flopping down onto his bed. Evan nods and moves to sit next to Connor on his soft bed. He looks around Connor’s room as Connor closes his eyes to try and sleep. Connor’s bookshelf is overflowing, which isn’t surprising to Evan, as Connor is almost always carrying a book with him at school when he sees him. Connor’s room is pretty typical of a teenage boy. The desk is messy with papers haphazardly piled on top of it. Connor’s trademark jacket hangs off the desk chair. There are clothes in piles on the floor and there aren’t many things hung on the walls.

 

It’s late evening and Evan’s still there scrolling on his phone next to him when Connor wakes up a few hours later. Connor tries not to think that it’s comforting and slightly cute that Evan didn’t leave while he was asleep because he could’ve since the main goal was just to get Connor to sleep. He comes up with the excuse though that might just be too polite to just leave his house without saying goodbye to him. That’s probably all it is.

 

“How long was I asleep?” Connor asks blearily while rubbing his eyes. Evan’s gone at this.

 

_Ok, that’s adorable. Does he have to be so cute after he wakes up?_

 

“About three hours,” Evan says after checking the time on his phone.

 

“I’ll take it.”

 

“Speaking of the time, I should probably be getting home. My mom’s actually going to be home for dinner tonight so,” Evan says while moving off of Connor’s bed and grabbing his stuff.

 

“Yeah, yeah sure.”

 

“Let me know if you need any more help I guess? Not that I want your insomnia to keep bugging you, but you know, I’m around if you need it,” Evan says.

 

“Thanks, Evan.”

  


Thankfully, but also unfortunately, Evan leaves before the Murphy’s have dinner because his mom is going to be home for dinner for the first time in a while, which Connor can understand Evan wanting to see her as often as he can. It’s a good thing he’s gone though because Connor doesn’t think he’d be able to put how nice it was to nap with Evan out of his head if he had to sit next to him all through dinner.


	3. Warm Beds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> evan reads out loud to connor. jared tries to tell evan that them napping together means something more than just friends helping each other with insomnia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title-warm beds by scarves

They’re back at Evan’s house after the whole stretching situation disaster, at least that’s what Connor’s referring to it as in his head. Not that the stretching went badly, it helped Connor to fall asleep fine, but really  _ he _ was the disaster; trying not to glance at Evan every five seconds like a creep, trying not to think about how nice it was to wake up and see Evan sitting next to him on his bed. 

 

It feels a little weird though to keep planning to meet at one of their houses to get Connor to try and sleep of all things. Connor thinks it’s probably a bit of a strange thing for teenagers to plan to do when he thinks most teenagers typically do more cliche teenager kind of shit, but who’s Connor to assume? 

 

_ Maybe other insomniac teenagers with mental health issues also happen to have a crush on the friend that’s helping them. There’s a niche. I should find a support group. _

 

“Alright, so what other tips can you give me?” Connor asks.

 

“Well, one of the other tactics we can try, when I was younger reading helped me fall asleep fairly quickly,” Evan says.

 

Connor hums. “Might not work. Reading rarely makes me tired.”

 

“I could read to you if you think that would work better?” Evan suggests. “I could--I could read out loud and you could listen.” Evan finishes with a pink tinge on his cheeks.

 

Connor raises his eyebrows and contemplates the idea. “Alright. You won’t be offended if I fall asleep to you reading?” Connor asks.

 

“No, that’s kind of the whole point of this, isn’t it?”

 

Connor shrugs in a sign of agreement, “Ok. Just pick a really boring book. Like a tree encyclopedia or something” he says teasingly.

 

Evan rolls his eyes fondly and stands in front of his bookshelf debating which book would be the best and in the end reaches for The Giver.

 

“I’m surprised you own The Giver,” Connor remarks.

 

“Huh? Oh yeah! We had to read it the, uh, summer before 9th grade I think, and I liked it so much I kept it,” Evan says.

 

“Yeah, I remember that being the first time I read it too. I liked the idea in the book that some things we take for granted like colors and shit were just human concepts that were taken away simply because of the existence of supposed utopia and that things like that weren’t necessary in a perfect society.”

 

“That’s really deep. I always kind of liked the idea of a path in life being chosen for you, like your career. Less anxiety for me I guess,” Evan shrugs.

 

Connor gives a little chuckle at that. “That’s where our mental health shit differs. I don’t want things about my life decided for me by other people.”

 

“Yeah, I get that. I also liked the relationships of Jonas and his friends though.”

 

“Yeah, I liked that too,” Connor agrees. He moves towards the bed, toeing his shoes off as he does and flops on his back onto it, “Alright, let’s do it.” 

 

Connor and Evan’s faces both go red at realizing what Connor could have just been implying and Connor stumbles, “I-I meant reading!” 

 

Evan nods faster than usual trying to assure Connor and also himself that all Connor really meant was Evan reading to him. “Yeah! I-I know.” 

 

Connor pats the bed somewhat awkwardly and in his opinion makes up some lame excuse of how he won’t be able to hear Evan as well if he doesn’t sit next to him. 

 

_ What the fuck was that?! His room isn’t that big. I would hear him fine. I just want him to sit next to me. Jesus Christ. Am I that fucking gone for Evan that I want him to sit next to me while he reads a book to me so I fall asleep. Also who the fuck does that? This is just as bad as the tea thing! He’s so cute! _

 

Evan shockingly buys it though and sits down on the bed next to Connor, who's moved a bit so he’s now lying down closer to the head of the bed and facing the ceiling with one arm under his head. 

 

Evan starts reading and Connor will deny it six ways to Sunday that Evan really has one of the most soothing voices he’s ever heard. His eyes are only gradually closing for longer periods of times after he blinks because Connor has already read the Giver a few times so he’s not really paying attention to the plot because he doesn’t need to, ok? No other reason whatsoever.

 

“Are you feeling any more tired?” Evan asks pausing at whatever point in the chapter of the book he was in. Connor had lost track; sneaking glances at Evan in between his lengthening blinks. He’s turned over at this point with his arm still tucked under his head, facing Evan on his side.

 

“Yeah. I think I could at least try and nap for a bit now.”

 

“Cool,” Evan says moving to get up. Unfortunately Evan doesn’t actually have a desk in his room; he usually does his homework at the breakfast bar in the kitchen. “I can go do my homework downstairs or something while you sleep.”

 

“Wait! Will you stay? You know, to make sure I can really fall asleep and just in case I need you to keep reading again if I wake up?” Connor asks, hoping that seems like a valid enough reason to essentially ask Evan to nap with him. Again.

 

“Uh, sure! Yeah, yeah.” Evan says shifting on his bed so he’s more comfortable. 

 

_ I’ll keep reading just to myself and that’ll make this seem less weird, right? _

 

At least that’s what Evan’s telling himself. He wishes he could actually believe it.

  
  


If Jared finds them later still asleep because they forgot Jared was coming over to hang out with them, and Connor’s resting his head on Evan’s shoulder and Evan is in a slightly more horizontal position than he was with a book that’s slipped out of his hands and his head resting on top of Connor’s, only Jared needs to know, and the adorable pictures Jared sneakily took no one particularly needs to see those either.

 

~

“Evan! You clearly like him!” Jared says exasperatedly one day while they’re hanging out.

 

“So what? It doesn’t mean anything,” Evan says, a bit tiredly having said this to Jared a few times before. Jared rolls his eyes at Evan’s obviously practiced response. 

 

“No, sure, whatever. But Connor asking you to stay with him each time means something, and you falling asleep together repeatedly definitely means something,” Jared points out.

 

“I’m just helping him with his insomnia, Jared! It’s been really bad these last couple days,” Evan defends.

 

“Oh my god! You’re hopeless! If you refuse to acknowledge you’re both lovesick idiots then I can’t help you,” Jared says dramatically. 

 

Evan glares at Jared and Jared takes the hint because after knowing Evan for years he knows what the look on Evan’s face right now means, and the subject is dropped much to Evan’s relief and Jared’s slight disappointment.


	4. This Is Not A Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's summer and connor's insomnia is back so he goes to evan because he can't fall asleep on his own using what evan showed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title-this is not a dream by daniel hart

It’s the start of summer when Connor finds himself outside Evan’s house trying to gather the courage to text Evan and let him know he’s here, something he learned to do early on in their friendship since Evan’s anxiety won’t let him answer the door to random knocking without knowing who it is. Connor would be lying if he said he minded doing it and that he didn’t also find it a little bit endearing. 

 

He’s struggling with his insomnia again and he’s desperate to sleep, which is why he’s outside Evan’s house in the afternoon in early summer. Connor would love to think that now that school was out for the summer he would be able to sleep better since he had nowhere to be and nothing he needed to do, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case. Apparently insomnia didn’t care what was going on in his life and still reared its ugly head. Connor finally texts Evan he’s outside and when he sees Evan’s read the message, knocks on the door.

 

“Hey, Connor! What’s up?” Evan asks after opening the door.

 

“Hey, sorry to just come over but I knew you weren’t working at the park today and I can’t sleep, and I’ve tried literally every solution you’ve shown me and I just can’t fall asleep. So, I don’t know if you slipped valium or some shit into the tea that one time or whatever, but please work your magic,” Connor begged.

 

“Oh, ok. Yeah, just come on in! I’ll--um, I’ll see what I can do,” Evan says. They go to Evan’s room and Evan lets Connor get comfortable on his bed before he moves to leave and go make tea since it seemed to be the most effective method for Connor’s insomnia out of all the ones they tried.

 

“Wait! Don’t feel like you have to rush to make tea. You could just sit here for a few minutes,” Connor winces.

 

_ Jesus. It sounds like I’m  _ **_trying_ ** _ to get Evan to stay and nap with me. Which I’m not! He just doesn’t need to just rush off and make me tea as soon as I get here.  _

 

“It was a little rude of me to just drop by here announced anyway. We can sit and chat for a few minutes before you go make tea,” Connor continues. 

 

Evan nods and sits on his bed next to Connor’s legs because he’s already half-laying down.

 

They talk about how Evan’s job at Ellison park is going this summer. It’s a real job this summer, more than just an internship, which is good. Evan likes it, which isn’t surprising. They also talk about Jared and how he managed to secure a job doing something techy, as Connor puts it, this summer. Evan stands a few minutes later when there’s a pause in the conversation.

 

“You still want Earl Grey?” Evan asks.

 

“Actually, I’ve been more into English Breakfast this summer if you have it?”

 

Evan thinks they do anyway. He nods in response and goes downstairs to the kitchen to make Connor’s tea.

 

He’s not freaking out. 

 

_ Ok. So Connor showed up at your house in the middle of summer, on a day he said he knew you weren’t working and that he couldn’t sleep and needed your help.  _ **_Your_ ** _ help. It doesn’t mean anything. I can’t make a big deal about this. _

 

Thankfully, the kettle whistling interrupts Evan’s increasingly panicked thoughts.

 

He makes his way back upstairs with the tea only a few minutes after he left but Connor’s already asleep when Evan steps into his room. He sets it on his nightstand just in case Connor wakes up early.

 

As embarrassing as it is he doesn’t really want to leave Connor alone in his room in case he wakes up again, so Evan sits next to Connor on his bed, careful not to wake him, and scrolls on his phone for the next few hours while Connor sleeps next to him. 

 

Evan would never admit it to anyone, but Connor looks really peaceful when he sleeps. His face is relaxed, unlike when he’s awake when he looks like he already has a sarcastic comment prepared even before someone’s said something, which he almost always does. He looked exhausted when Evan opened the door, but he looks almost serene right now. Evan’s glad he’s finally getting some much needed sleep. 

 

Connor wakes up a few hours later and Evan bashfully explains why he was sitting next to him.

“Aw! Evan you were worried about me!”

 

Evan blushes and rubs the back of his neck, “Yeah, well, I don’t know. I just didn’t want you to wake up alone I guess and I can’t really sit anywhere else in here to make sure you don’t wake up after too short of a nap.”

 

Connor swears his heart skips a beat at Evan’s adorable confession and at the obvious blush on Evan’s cheeks. Connor seriously might melt on the spot, and just be left a puddle of fond on Evan’s bed. 

 

_ Pull it together Connor! Evan can’t see me blush then he’ll know I have a crush on him and he wouldn’t want to be friends anymore. _

 

Connor clears his throat and sits up, “Well, thanks again. I should probably get going. Even though it’s summer my parents still want me home at a reasonable time for some reason.”

 

“Oh, of course!” Evan says.

 

“Let me know if you need anymore help!” Evan says after walking Connor to his door.

  
  


Connor leaves Evan’s house fully embarrassed. 

 

_ You colossal fucking idiot! I gotta stop just blurting stuff out to Evan even if it keep making his face turn that cute shade of pink! He’s clearly uncomfortable!  _

 

Little does he know Evan’s leaning with his back to his front door thinking similar things after Connor leaves.

 

_ What is wrong with me? It would’ve been perfectly fine if I sat in my living room. Connor’s a big boy! He would’ve been fine waking up on his own. It’s my house, it’s not like he would think I left. Oh my god. He was probably so weirded out by that. Only someone with a crush would have been worried about him waking up alone, now he’s gonna know and I’m doomed. _


	5. Part of That Strange Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jared accidentally spills the beans. evan and connor get their shit together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title-part of that strange dream by daniel hart

Connor and Jared are hanging out one day at Jared’s house a few weeks later during the summer playing video games together. Something that shocks most people when they hear it, but it’s another outlet for Connor to get out his aggression and shut his brain off for awhile and Jared needed a co-op partner who wasn’t shit at aiming and shooting,  _ thank you very much Evan _ .

 

“So how’s your insomnia been, man? Any better now that it’s summer?” Jared asks in the middle of the random shooting game they’d decided to play today not really caring if it was decent or not.

 

“It’s been ok. I had a bout at the beginning of summer and one a few weeks ago, but it hasn’t been awful I guess,” Connor says.

 

“And how are the naps with a certain khaki-pants-wearing boy going?” Jared asks, trying to seem casual by not looking away from the screen, but Connor can hear the hint of teasing in his voice. 

 

Connor shrugs. “I sleep better with Evan. I don’t know why,” he explains to Jared. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t mind admitting that to Jared. Anyone else he probably would’ve told to fuck off, but he doesn’t care if Jared knows he likes Evan and likes napping with him.

 

_ Oh god. Evan’s making me soft. _

 

“Oh my god! Ok. First of all, that’s kind of adorable. Second of all, why are you both such massive dumbasses?” Jared asks, rolling his eyes.

 

“Excuse me! I’m not a- Wait! What do you mean both?” Connor asks, putting down his controller.

 

“Uh…no reason. I mean I didn’t say that. Pick up your controller! We’re gonna lose. Did I say both? That’s not what I meant,” Jared fumbles.

 

“Jared,” Connor says in a warning tone.

 

“Crrrcht. Crrrcht. The connection is breaking up. I’m going through a tunnel. Crrrcht.” Jared says, imitating static.

“Jared, you’re sitting next to me! This is a verbal conversation. What the fuck?” Connor asks exasperatedly.

 

“Sorry! I forgot I have to go! I have to go somewhere! Right now! Bye!” Jared says, bolting up the basement stairs and out of his house, leaving Connor to sit on the couch yelling after him that this is Jared’s house, head spinning at the possibility that Evan might actually return his feelings.

 

Jared does actually leave his house. He rushes over to Evan’s house from his, cursing himself the whole way there. Evan’s going to kill him. Or Connor. Or they’ll stop being idiots and get together and then murder Jared together, which at least they’d be together at that point which would solve Jared’s problem of having to listen to both of them whine about the other.

 

Evan opens the door not long after Jared texts him that he’s there.

 

“Jared? Did we have plans today?” Evan asks, confused as to why Jared’s randomly at his house out of breath with his cheeks flushed.

 

“Evan! Buddy o’ mine!” he says, pushing past Evan to walk inside. “Have I told you much I love you lately?”

 

“What did you do?” Evan narrows his eyes, immediately suspicious.

 

“I’ll just cut to the chase. I may or may not have let it slip that you may or may not have a crush on one Connor Murphy and I may or may not have let it slip to that one Connor Murphy.”

 

“JAred! What! How could you do that?!”

 

“I’m sorry! Really I am! It just came out! On the brightside, I think he was happy to hear it,” Jared says trying to make light of the situation. 

 

Evan scoffs at this. “Please! Like Connor would ever like me.”

 

“You’re a catch, Ev! Connor would be lucky to have you,” Jared tells him.

 

“Thanks, Jared. Doesn’t make what you did better, but thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Jared says, pleased Evan’s not currently beating him over the head with tree shaped pillow that’s always on the couch. Jared got it for him as a joke years ago when they were in elementary school when Evan first started getting into trees. 

 

Evan’s phone buzzes just then alerting him to a new text message.

 

Evan’s eyes widen when he reads it. “Connor’s here!”

 

“What?” Jared asks.

 

“Connor’s outside!” Evan says already distressed at Connor being outside his house so quickly after Jared told Connor that Evan likes him. There’s no way this is a good sign.

 

“Ok. Don’t panic!” 

 

Evan glares at Jared. 

 

“Sorry! Um, I should go so you guys can talk, right?” Jared asks.

 

“Probably. Oh god! Jared what if he hates me? What if he came over to tell me he doesn’t want to be friends anymore?”

 

Evan’s almost to full on panicking now, standing up from the couch and pacing back and forth in front of it, trying to dispel some of his nervous energy. Jared realizes he needs to let Connor in and get this all over with before Evan worries himself right into a panic attack. He moves out of the kitchen and goes to open the door.

 

“Connor, hey!”

 

“Kleinman,” Connor nods at him. “Weird to see you here.”

 

“I’ll, uh, leave you to it then,” Jared says a bit awkwardly, ignoring Connor’s last comment and moving past him to leave. Connor nods at him as he does, a signal that they’ll talk later whether this goes well or not and Jared better hope for his sake it does or Connor will not be responsible for his actions. Jared’s not worried though. He more just feels bad that he let it slip that they’re both fawning over the other one because he thought he was doing pretty good at being the sympathetic wingman. If anything he’s just cut out the middleman and Connor and Evan can tell each other their gross, sappy thoughts about each other instead of Jared. He’ll take credit for getting them together though.

 

Connor walks into the house to see Evan standing there in the middle of the living room, falling back onto his tried and true habit of fiddling with the hem of his shirt. 

 

“Hey,” Connor starts the conversation, wanting to rip the band-aid off as quickly as possible so he can go home and alternate between playing mind-numbing video games to get his anger out and playing the Smiths and Chet Baker to get his sadness out at Evan’s inevitable rejection.

 

“Uh, hey,” Evan says, looking at the floor in a tone that’s nervous sounding, even for him.

 

“I think we should probably talk.”

 

“Ok,” is all Evan’s mouth can let him respond with.

 

“We both know why Jared was here.”

 

Evan nods, still not meeting Connor’s eyes. Connor sighs.

 

“Look, Evan! I’ll just admit it. I’ve got a big, stupid fucking crush on you, ok?” Connor says. “And--and you’re just gonna have to deal with it!”

 

“Wh-what?” Evan says finally looking up at Connor.

 

_ Did I hear him right? I swear he said crush, but that can’t be right. He can’t have a crush on me! _

 

“I think you heard me. Don’t. Please don’t make me say it again,” Connor says softly.

 

“You have a crush on me?” Evan asks, flabbergasted that this is where Connor was going with this conversation.

 

Connor nods, now looking at the floor and preparing for the worst, not wanting to meet Evan’s eyes and see the inevitable rejection he thinks is on Evan’s face. 

 

_ With any luck Evan will just let me down easy because he’s too sweet for his own good and I can get out of here and pretend that Evan not liking me is fine. I’m absolutely gonna kick Jared’s ass though. _

 

“Jared told me I was a blind idiot, but I thought he was just being Jared,” Evan chuckles disbelievingly.

 

“Was that what he was telling you when he was here just now?” Connor confirms.

 

“Mostly. He said he may or may not have spilled the beans that I had feelings for you, and then said not to worry, as if I, of all people, could do that and then you texted and now we’re here,” Evan finishes.

 

“So...” 

 

“So?” Evan prompts, stepping closer to Connor.

 

“We like each other then,” Connor says.

 

Evan nods, blushing now. Connor still thinks it's adorable; He doesn’t see a time coming that he won’t if he’s honest.

 

“Can I ask...why-uh..why do you like me?”

 

“Are you serious?” Connor asks incredulously. Evan nods again. 

 

_ How can he even ask me that? What sane person wouldn’t like everything about him? _

 

“I _adore_ you, Evan. I adore that you ask me my favorite kind of tea. I adore that you like the Giver for some of the same but also different reasons than I do. Obviously I adore that you’re a nerd about trees. I adore that you turn this really cute shade of pink when I say something dumb or when you get complimented. A lot of times it’s a combination of me doing both of those things because I’m an idiot. I could go on; There’s a lot to list. I kind of adore everything about you, Ev,” Connor finishes, slightly embarrassed at the emotional speech he just made.

 

“I adore that you just said ‘adore’ like 5 times,” Evan says lifting his eyes to look at Connor, smiling softly at him. 

 

Yeah, Connor’s definitely going to melt. He can’t hold it back anymore, “Can I kiss you?” he asks.

 

Evan nods his head to signal yes, cheeks somehow impossibly pinker at Connor’s question.

 

Connor steps towards him closing the space between them. Connor makes a mental note to start using chapstick as he meets Evan’s lips, but that aside Connor doesn’t think he’s ever been happier than right now with Evan’s soft lips on his. His hands moves to gently cup Evan’s face and Evan’s surprised his knees don’t give out at that. 

 

_ Holy shit! Connor’s kissing me. Connor’s actually kissing me.  _

 

They break the kiss a few seconds later. Connor reluctantly moving away after giving Evan a few more pecks. Evan’s lips are addicting, sue him.

 

“Can we, um-- Can we agree to not give Jared the satisfaction that he was right?” Connor asks.

 

“Oh, absolutely! He does not need this ego boost. He’ll probably be insufferable anyway I always went to him with my gay panic about you.” Evan says, blushing at admitting that to Connor’s face. 

 

“Yeah, he probably will. I did the same,” Connor agrees. Evan smiles wide enough that he briefly thinks his cheeks are going to be sore tomorrow.

 

_ Oh well. Small price to pay for kissing Connor really. _

 

~

“I just realized something.”

 

“What’s that?” Evan asks.

 

“I think you’re actually the reason I’m able to fall asleep so easily. Maybe your presence or some shit.”

 

“Huh.” Evan says while suddenly getting a shit-eating grin on his face.

 

“What?” Connor asks nervously.

 

“I hope I don’t have that effect for  _ all _ parts of this relationship.”

 

“Shut the fuck up!” Connor laughs and pushes Evan off the bed.


	6. playlist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> playlist of songs that i wanted to include based on the fic or sleep in general.

i get along without you very well (except sometimes) - chet baker

 

gone beyond - peter silberman

 

i'll see you when we're both not so emotional - american football

 

swing lo magellan - dirty projectors

 

interlude (live) - london grammar

 

asleep - the smiths

 

without you - tobias jesso jr.

 

dreamsong - nate heller ft. amber coffman

 

all of them dreams - tom rosenthal

 

see you soon - coldplay

 

love me in whatever way - james blake

 

cold sheets - scarves

 

from gold - novo amor

 

nothing but adore you - richard walters

 

take care - keaton henson

 

warm beds - scarves

 

samson - regina spektor

 

this is not a dream - daniel hart

 

part of that strange dream - daniel hart

 

rhode island - the front bottoms

 

one more love song - mac demarco

 

nature boy - nat king cole

 

bad habit - ben platt

 

be nice to me - the front bottoms

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed! leave kudos or a comment if you like
> 
> you get extra cool bonus points if you know where jared's camp name is from ;)
> 
> you can find me on tumblr at muffinmanhoran!


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